More on Pain Associated with Loss

When I first began to study the process of loss, I refused to consider that there could be any gain associated with a terrible loss, such as that of my son. When I could be more objective, I found that there are gains, even though they do not compensate for the loss. An example is learning to take time for meanigful contact with people we care about, but are too busy to visit, or write to. Only after someone is gone, do we face the fact that we could have found the time and energy to spend more time with that person.

In other words what we learn is to reorder our priorities, and to admit that we make time for what is important to us, and that we must not take for granted that we will go through most of our lives with our loved ones alive and well.